never argue with a child

>Subject: NEVER ARGUE WITH A CHILD
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>
> A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
> > > > >
> > > > > The teacher said it was physically impossible
> > > > > for a whale to swallow a human because
> > > > > even though it was a very large mammal
> > > > > its throat was very small.
> > > > >
> > > > > The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
> > > > >
> > > > > Irritated, the teacher reiterated that
> > > > > a whale could not swallow a human;
> > > > > it was physically impossible.
> > > > >
> > > > > The little girl said,
> > > > > "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
> > > > >
> > > > > The teacher asked,
> > > > > "What if Jonah went to hell?"
> > > > >
> > > > > The little girl replied,
> > > > > "Then you ask him."
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > > > >
> > > > > A Kindergarten teacher was observing
> > > > > her classroom of children while they drew.
> > > > > She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
> > > > >
> > > > > As she got to one little girl who was working diligently,
> > > > > she asked what the drawing was?
> > > > >
> > > > > The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
> > > > >
> > > > > The teacher paused and said,
> > > > > "But no one knows what God looks like."
> > > > >
> > > > > Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing,
> > > > > the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
> > > > >
> > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > > > >
> > > > > A Sunday school teacher was discussing
> > > > > the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
> > > > > After explaining the commandment to "honor"
> > > > > thy Father and thy Mother, she asked,
> > > > > "Is there a commandment that teaches us
> > > > > how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
> > > > >
> > > > > Without missing a beat one little boy
> > > > > (the oldest of a family) answered,
> > > > > "Thou shall not kill."
> > > > >
> > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > > > >
> > > > > One day a little girl was sitting and watching
> > > > > her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink.
> > > > > She suddenly noticed that her mother
> > > > > has several strands of white hair
> > > > > sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
> > > > >
> > > > > She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked,
> > > > > "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
> > > > >
> > > > > Her mother replied,
> > > > > "Well, every time you do something wrong
> > > > > and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
> > > > >
> > > > > The little girl thought about this revelation for a while
> > > > > and then said, "Momma, how come
> > > > > ALL
> > > > > of Grandma's hairs are white?"
> > > > >
> > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > > > >
> > > > > The children had all been photographed,
> > > > > and the teacher was trying to persuade them each
> > > > > to buy a copy of the group picture.
> > > > >
> > > > > "Just think how nice it will be to look at it
> > > > > when you are all grownup and say
> > > > > 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or
> > > > > 'That's Michael. He's a doctor.'
> > > > >
> > > > > " A small voice at the back of the room rang out,
> > > > > 'And there's the teacher...
> > > > > She's dead."
> > > > >
> > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > > > >
> > > > > A teacher was giving a lesson
> > > > > on the circulation of the blood.
> > > > > Trying to make the matter clearer, she said,
> > > > > "Now, class, if I stood on my head,
> > > > > the blood, as you know, would run into it,
> > > > > and I would turn red in the face."
> > > > >
> > > > > "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that
> > > > > while I am standing upright in the ordinary position
> > > > > the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
> > > > >
> > > > > A little fellow shouted,
> > > > > "Cause your feet ain't empty."
> > > > >
> > > > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > > > >
> > > > > The children were lined up in the cafeteria
> > > > > of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.
> > > > >
> > > > > At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
> > > > > The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
> > > > > "Take only ONE. God is watching."
> > > > >
> > > > > Moving further along the lunch line,
> > > > > at the other end of the table was
> > > > > a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
> > > > >
> > > > > A child had written a note,
> > > > > "Take all you want...
> > > > > God is watching the apples. "